Tuesday, April 23, 2013

On Sisters, and Graduations

Disclaimer: There is nothing in this post that I haven't already discussed with my little sis! :)

In a few weeks, I will fly up to Michigan to attend my little sister's high school graduation, AND my 10 year high school reunion, on the same weekend. (In full disclosure, as former class President, I selfishly scheduled our reunion to be on the same weekend I would already be there...convenient, eh?)

My sister and I are 10 years apart, if you didn't pick up on that. We are quite close and, though we have lived many states apart for many years, we've made it a point to have extended visits each year since she was about 8.

We are SO alike in our personalities. Kinda self conscious and shy at times, good students, and we approach so many situations the same way. We even look more alike than any of our other sisters. People in our family used to joke that I was her idol. We've always connected because we just 'get' each other. I've loved getting to be better and better friends as she has gotten older.

As Britt has grown up, she has often come to the hubs and I for advice and guidance on life issues. We love that we've had that open relationship and can talk real life with her, and she appreciates our opinions and perspective. We've had some really awesome conversations each time she's stayed with us. She has some pretty great opinions to offer as well. She's a smart cookie.

A few things have changed this year that have affected our relationship. 1. I had a baby, putting me in a completely different life point that she can't (and shouldn't!) relate to...and making me VERY busy. 2. She decided to not go to college right away after graduating.

Writing this out, I realize it sounds petty, but this has really disappointed me.  It disappoints me because Brittney has big dreams. I love that about her. Dreams to work in an exciting field that she's passionate about. Dreams to travel the world. And I'm terrified that deciding not to go to college right away will put a cap on those dreams. I'm scared that she's making that decision just because she's scared to make a decision about what college to attend, and what to major in. She's deciding to not decide. And that is so unlike me. For the first time, I feel like maybe we aren't so much alike. And that kind of makes me sad.

I was the first person in our family to get a college degree. I always thought she'd be the second. And she still might. I just fear that 'taking a year off' will turn into taking forever off. Or taking a year off, and then stumbling through and having a bad college experience.

I told her that this is the first time I've ever had someone I love make a decision I really don't agree with, and I dont really know how to deal with it. I really don't want it to affect our relationship, but it somehow feels like I agree with her decision, if I act like everything is normal with us. Ultimately, I know it's her decision and she is the master of her own future. I just want an awesome future for her.

So I ask you, readers, how do you support a family member through a decision you don't agree with? Say your peace, and then drop it? That's what I'm leaning towards.

Whatever happens, Britt, I love you and will always love you, and our time together!

And just for fun:

Chillin like a villian:


  1. I didn't go to college right after high school either! In fact - I took THREE years off. I am so happy I did, I believe it was the right choice - for me.
    I would express your concern but then leave it be! If she starts to veer from a good path, express your concern again and remind her that you're only concerned she'll regret the choices she's making - whether it's a poor college choice or no college at all!

    1. Loved your perspective, Ashley, especially since you have experience in this area! :) Thanks for your thoughts!

  2. I would also express your concern over it and then leave it be for the time being. Maybe in a year bring it up again, just to see where she's at then.

    1. That sounds like great advice, Kjelse. I think I will do just that! Thanks for sharing!

  3. He is just too cute! And talk to your sister about it but let it be her decision and support her either way... Oh and I was student council pres in high school lol - type a personalities unite!